It isn't easier...It is harder!!!!

When people tell you that dealing with the loss of a loved one gets easier with time, what they forget to mention is that at first it gets harder. Well at least it seems that way to me. At first, I guess I was numb. Yes, it hurt - I would be lying if I said it didn't. However the next week, when life got back to "normal" was even harder. Because even though life was suppose to be returning to "normal" their was nothing normal about it. It isn't the big thing, but all of the little things. Last week I went home to change clothes before class and was leaving a little late and nobody was fussing at me that I was going to be late class, however worrying that I was going to be late seemed to Grandma's job. It just hit me that she wasn't there to fuss at me about running late. That use to drive me crazy, but now I miss it. This morning I needed Kleenex for my purse (I don't leave home without them right now), and Grandma always kept a supply a those pocket packs and I know where she is at she doesn't need Kleenex anymore. However, not needing to ask her if I could take pack made me cry. I never thought that Kleenex could make cry, nor not getting fussed at.

Possible New Adventure

I have been approached by a couple of people, mainly people in my current Sunday School class where I have taught some, about the possibility of me teaching a new adult Sunday School class for singles in my church. As a 36 single, I know that is one area that our church could really expand our ministry. I have been blessed to be a part of classes where it hasn't mattered that I was the only single person. It might have been awkward on occasion, because I couldn't add much to the discussion when people where talking about their spouse or children, but I always felt wanted and welcomed. I have heard from other singles though that hasn't been their experience, and they don't feel like they fit in. It is hard when you feel like you are the only one and not really part of the group.

Here is my hesitation, I have a tendency to spread myself to thin. I LOVE serving in our worship arts ministry and I will always be a part of that. I also really enjoy working with our Children's ministry assisting with the technical stuff on Sunday morning. I just don't know if I will be able to continue to do that and take this on as well. Please pray with me as I seek the Lord on this next adventure.